Hush my child
by anerol152
Summary: Tonks' thoughts the night before the Battle of Hogwarts


**Chaser 2 of Magpies;**

 **Prompt: Write about a death on a spring day(s) OR a birth on a winter night(s).**

 **Optional Prompts: (** **song** **) Let It All Go - BIRDY RHODES; (dialogue) "You can't start a new chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."; (word) asleep**

 **Disclaimer: Still not able to write more than 3K so no, I don't own anything**

 **Word count: 900+ as stated by Google docs.**

 **A/N: Why Lorena, why? Because making people suffer with you makes you feel better. (Also I rewrote the plan for this 4 times so this is what we have in the end.)**

 **A/N2 (real A/N): Song prompt used as an inspiration more than anything. Particularly the 'Morning has come and I have to go' and the 'We started it wrong and I think you know we waited too long now I have to go' parts. So not so much a break up song as 'there's a war and a family is about to be split up' song interpretation.**

* * *

"— _nd if that dog named Rover won't bark, Mama's gonna to buy you a horse and cart. And if that horse and cart fall down, you'll still be the sweetest little baby in town."_

Tonks looked down at the sleeping face of her son and smiled. It had taken her half an hour to get him to fall asleep in his crib. It was almost as if the small babe knew she was saying goodbye. She could barely stand the thought of leaving her son, but she knew that by doing so, she would be able to fight to secure a safe future for him to grow up in.

She stood there for a while, watching her son's hair change colours in his sleep. So young and already taking after her. She looked forward to seeing if he would take more after her or Remus later in life.

Her smile faded as she thought of her husband. That's right; she wasn't only doing this for her son; she was leaving for her husband as well. She knew the chances of her coming back were slim at best—she had no delusions about the gravity of the situation—but she couldn't leave him to fight alone.

He had left to protect them, but what good would it do for her if there was no one to protect him?

Her son needed his mother, but he needed his father as well, and she was going to do everything in her might to bring both of them back home, even if she died trying. She refused to let the love of her life leave her. Not when they finally had everything; their son and each other.

Tonks tucked in Teddy's blanket and leaned down to kiss his forehead. He made a noise but didn't wake up. She caressed his small hand once more and quietly walked out of the room. She looked back once more and then closed the door with a sad smile.

She walked down the hallway towards her own room. There was still something she had to do before she left.

In the furthest left corner of the nightstand, next to her queen sized bed, a small golden object glinted in the moonlight.

She went over to it and picked up the ring. It was her wedding ring, a sign of her love for Remus. She had taken it off the night before to see how it would feel to not wear it. To know how it would feel if she lost Remus.

It was safe to say that she disliked it immensely, but a day of not wearing it had helped her come to terms with what she was about to do. Even if it felt like a part of her was breaking at the thought of leaving her son, she at least knew he would be safe here with her mother. There was no guarantee of Remus being safe. If anything, who he was made him an even bigger target than most.

She wasn't going to let him face this alone. She had already lost her mentor that way; she wasn't going to lose her husband as well.

"After all, you can't start a new chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one," she muttered under her breath. If Teddy was ever going to have the future he deserved, the war needed to end. And she was going to do everything in her power to make sure it ended tonight.

It was time to stop living in the fears of the past and focus on fighting for the future.

Tonks put her ring back on her finger, checked to see if her wand was in its holster, and left the room. She was reaching for the door handle when she heard a voice calling her from behind her.

"Dora."

Tonks turned around and looked at her mother's tired but determined face. Andromeda Tonks was a proud woman, never afraid to say what was on her mind, and it looked like she was about to do exactly that.

"You're leaving, Dora?" she asked, frowning.

"I can't stay here and not do anything when I could be out there fighting with my husband." Tonks stood her ground as Andromeda's frown became more pronounced.

"What about Teddy—are you going to abandon him like this? To go fight a war that may cost you your life? You would leave your son without a parent?"

"At the risk of him losing the other? Yes; yes, I would. Teddy will be safe here. He's asleep, safe in our home. But what of Remus; is he safe? Can you guarantee me that he's safe? You know how it is to lose someone you love; to lose a husband. I'm not ready for that yet! So, yes, I am leaving my son here—with you—because I know you can keep him safe here. I know that you'll take care of him no matter what happens. Even if— Even if the worst case scenario happens and Remus and I both end up dead, I know that I can count on you to take care of our son."

Andromeda sighed, a look of resignation on her face.

"Nothing I say will change your mind, will it? You've already made your choice. I don't want to lose you, Dora, but I always knew a day like this might come. You were always a free spirit, doing what you wanted or what you thought was right." She paused, her lips curving up into a sad smile. "I cannot stop you, but I need you to promise me that you'll do everything you can to stay alive and come back to me. I already lost half of my family; I don't want to lose you as well."

Tonks walked over to her mother and hugged her for what she knew might be the last time. "I love you, Mum," she whispered.

"I love you too, Nymphadora."

Tonks laughed. "Mum, I thought I told you not to call me that!"

"You did, but that is your name, and nothing can stop me from using it." They broke the hug and Andromeda took a step back. "Remember what I always told you; it's good to be kind, but if you ever have to choose between you and someone who's trying to hurt you—"

"Choose me," Tonks finished.

Tonks kissed her mother on the cheek once and walked out the door. The sky was slowly turning pink with the first rays of the sun. She took one last look at her mother and Apparted away.


End file.
